Winning the Hearts and Minds of others
If you want to win the hearts and minds of the people around you, you can try to bludgeon, promote or sell them into submission or you can choose a better option, where you enchant them by working to create a voluntary, long lasting and mutually beneficial relationship of support and loyalty. So I hear you ask, “How do I become enchanting”?
As you know it is seldom the most complicated solutions, which work best in life. So here is one that although simplistic, works really well. The best way to not come across as grumpy, cold or annoying requires you to make a good first impression. This is done by projecting a genuine, authentic “George Clooneyesque” smile, when you first meet someone, followed by a firm meaningful handshake, which projects your genuine interest in the meeting the person.
Always ensure that you dress appropriately. Ensure that you are not too formal or too casual; ensure that you are dressed at the same level as the person you are meeting. When you speak, ensure that you use simple unambiguous words and speak in an active voice. Try to speak in shorter sentences and stay on point.
Don’t Judge Others
Ensure that you do not judge people. As you know everyone has strengths and weaknesses as well as issues they may be dealing with in their lives. Keep an open mind and do not allow your impression of who or what they are cloud your approach to them in any way. Remain friendly, authentic and be real. Everyone has different values, so do not try to impose your values on others. Great enchanters have the ability to savour the difference between people’s values and include everyone
Find ways to uncover shared passions, as this is the easiest way to break down barriers and build bridges with people. Remember that the best way to enchant people is to ensure there is always a modality of fair exchange, in all dealings with them. As long as there is a win-win feeling and all parties feel like they are better off after the encounter, you will succeed to be enchanting.
Adopt a “Yes” attitude
Try to always respond in the affirmative, when building any relationship. This buys you time and allows you to build rapport with the other person. By contrast a “No” stops everything. In other words, there is no place for the conversation to go, nothing to build on. A no attitude, stops things and removes any further options you may have had available to you. You can never build any long term sustainable relationship, unless you invest the time to allow it to begin.
Getting People to accept you
Dress appropriately. Yes I know people should not judge you by what you wear, but as you know they do. So to be successful at getting people to know, like and trust you. It is crucial that you create the right first impression, by wearing the appropriate clothing. Dress the equal to the person you intend to meet. The second crucial factor is your smile. Don’t project a false smile, where you only smile with your jaw. Smile with your eyes. The more crow’s feet you can project into every smile the better. Finally deliver a genuine, firm handshake, which projects your confidence and genuineness. Once you have got through this initial phase, where you have made the most incredible impression.
Building that long term sustainable relationship is all about remaining authentic and genuine, always ensuring that there is a modality of fair exchange, where everyone feels like a winner. Sustaining that relationship, comes from ensuring that there is on-going mutual benefit for all parties and that everyone feels they are getting something from the relationship.