Rejection Breeds Perfection
I believe that everyone should have at least one catastrophic failure in their lives. Because when they wake up the next day, they will realise that it was not the end of the world, although it probably feels like it was at the time. Life goes on and after surviving the largest challenge of their lives; they will learn the art of becoming fearless. Once you have managed, mitigated and navigated your way around a huge failure, something as trivial as rejection, is something you will handle in your stride.
Almost everyone I have asked about their feelings towards rejection, say they fear it and as a result avoid any situation where they may experience it. Wow what a defeatist attitude. If you avoid all possible situations where you may experience rejection, you can never live your full potential. You will never have the perfect spouse. You will be too afraid to be rejected, so you will never ask him or her out. You will never push yourself outside of your comfort zone, so you will be trapped in average. Managing or mitigating rejection is a per-requisit for life and a necessity, if you to achieve anything extra-ordinary.
How can you overcome your Fear of Rejection?
Well before I even travel down the slippery slope of supporting you to lose your fear of rejection. I want to ask a simple question. DOES REJECTION EVEN EXIST AT ALL?
Example: Before you ask that perfect spouse out on a date, you do not have a date or a relationship with them, right. If they say no, you still do not have a date or a relationship, with them. So nothing actually changes at all. Things only change, when they accept your proposal. Grant Cardone, a well-known speaker and trainer, spent over a year being turned down by his current spouse, before she agreed to go on a date with him. They are now a perfect, happily married couple with two wonderful children. How long do you try, before you give up?
Mitigating your FEAR
The fear of being rejected is such a huge fear in so many people’s lives. I am certain you would agree that it would be really fantastic if we could find a perfect tool to support them to overcome that fear. It is not a perfect science, but I have a few ideas I want to share with you for managing and mitigating this FEAR.
Action Idea: The first place to start is to change the connotation or meaning you give to the word “NO” You need to change your current view around the word NO, which is negative and destructive and try to create a more positive spin on the word. You need to find a more constructive way of viewing NO. The best technique I use is to never see No as permanent.
My view of “NO”
- No is merely an indication that I have not explained myself clearly enough, so they do not have a full understanding of my offer. Once I clarify things and help them understand, the answer will be “YES”
- No means I do not see the value you offer at the moment or my current circumstances are not suitable for your current offer. When my circumstances change or you can alter or better explain your offer, NO will become a resounding “YES”
- No means, can you please explain your offer in a more direct fashion and talk to my values, when you describe it to me in this way, I will better understand. Once I understand your proposal from my perspective, my answer will be “YES”
- No Means, not now. I like your proposal, but right now I do not need it. When conditions or my needs change the answer will be “YES”
- I am sure there are more specific explanations, which will be more appropriate for your unique circumstances. Give it some thought and try to come up with a few ideas, to show you how to see that No is really, just a “YES” in waiting.
Action Idea 2: Another way to manage or mitigate your “FEAR” around rejection, is to believe in what you sell or the offer you are making to such a degree, that you honestly feel that the person is doing themselves a disservice, if they do not accept your offer.
I look on my product offering, as a gift to anyone, who needs the value it brings. I see it as a nutritious desert. It not only tastes great, but it is really good for your health too. I believe in the value my products and services offer, to such a degree, that I treat them as gifts. Far more nutritious and beneficial than even the perfect desert I described earlier. When someone does not see the value I bring, I honestly do not feel rejected. I feel sorry for them. They have lost out on receiving the best ROI on sales training possible. How do you feel about the offers you make or the products you sell?
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